Touch This!

Today officially marks the first day I've ever been late to a client (by 4 minutes, but that's still unacceptable) and I am jumping for joy.  You may ask, "Mike, what drives you to revel in this plyometric celebration?"  My answer to you is: Modern Technology.  I officially hate modern technology as of today.

As per usual, I give a final check on my tablet to make sure I have everything I need for my next client before I walk out the door.  This time however, the several hundred dollar device in my hand that is supposed to make life easier insists on performing an update before I can put conductive digit to capacitive screen.  One harsh grunt later, I hit the 'install' button and wait...7 minutes! 

After a bit of grade school math, I learn that this seven minute loss still gets me there a couple of minutes early, and all is well.  Or so I thought.  After a mandatory reboot, I find most of my applications are grayed out; including the office suite I use for the routines.  Somehow, the update (that's a euphemism for 'big pain in my butt' in case you haven't guessed by now) had overwritten some files making these programs unusable.  Ugh!  Onto Plan B.

After a quick text to my client, I run upstairs to my laptop, turn on the printer, pull up the routine, and hit 'print'. As I see the printer icon come up on the taskbar but hear no sound coming from the printer, my previous grunt involuntarily upgrades itself in duration and decibel level.  The printer is 'offline'.  On my POS, the only way to get the printer back online is to remove it and reinstall it. Since this would take even more time than I was comfortable with, Plan C (AKA DEFCON 1) forced its ugly head from the abyss.  I resorted to pulling every cord imaginable from the laptop like the Bionic Man weeding a garden, and sprinting away.

I miss my Walkman.